I suspect I have been drawing obsessively since I could hold a crayon (anyway, for as long as I could remember. I honed my skills doodling people while in class). Every bad thing that pulled me down--I found a refuge in drawing. An image unfolding on the page--this held hope, peace. But for me peace has never been possible without facing what is ugly. Therefore one finds in my figures tension between beauty and ugliness (yes, socially defined), and also in my abstract paintings. Awkwardness is something I particularly enjoy celebrating--I love awkwardly powerful shapes. I use visual conventions against each other--some elements may push backward from one perspective and forward from another. My art reflects living among the massive confusion and proliferation of thoughts and feelings that life usually is. I think of it like free jazz--after many many years of drawing and painting realistically, now I create by letting a free jazz session unfold on the paper, a different piece of art at each point in its unfolding, as each element speaks to the others and stands in some kind of relationship to each. At one time I made no effort to sell my work because I wanted it to be free--so I got myself another career. In time I hope art income will support me so I have more time for art. But I still feel free because I am not dependent on other people's feelings about my work. This finds its way into my creation process--unless I am free, I become disinterested. And so I must tell myself that my goal, as I proceed, is to waste art materials. I need that so that when I am moved to do something ridiculous, ugly, outrageous, etc., to my image, I do not hesitate.
I used to think a lot about what art is and what it is for or should be for. For me, at this time, it is intended to be interesting company. I find the most value in art that arises from the subconscious; it proceeds from vague feeling; I never know what I will draw/paint until the moment I am doing it. I mean this literally. As I draw a figure I do not have a figure in my head--it arises from my reaction to what is already on the page...literally, my hand is moving, making the line, while an idea is arising. And then when it is done I recognize quite a lot of meaning in it, though much of it lives in a personal dialect that I do not expect a viewer to know and read or see.
I am interested in doing commissions, requests. This includes, for digital art, altering one of the pictures you see. I am interested in the matrix of elements in a picture and I am not particularly attached to the particular matrix I post here. With comments or requests feel free to contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org or visit tracygrayart.com.